The Day Before Cash

I remember this day like it was yesterday. The previous night (Jan. 13th) I was concerned that Cash wasn't moving as he had been, in the womb. I tossed and turned all night waking Dustin to tell him that I couldn't get the baby to do anything, despite my efforts. We laid awake most of the night talking. I was scared and worried and couldn't stop questioning what might be wrong.

The next morning I headed to work, still concerned about the baby. In hoping he might move with breakfast I stopped and satisfied a growling stomach. Still nothing. (I know now he was stubborn even before birth). I arrived at work rattled. I couldn't concentrate and so I shot Dustin an email voicing my concern and informing him I was going to go ahead and call the Dr. It's 10:30am and at this point it has been over 12 hours since I felt anything. A kick, a move, a flutter. My boss listened with a stethoscope and confirmed she heared nothing. A quick call to the Dr sent me straight to the hospital. Mindy Jistel a sweet, sweet co-worker of mine offered to ride with me to Presbyterian Dallas to be checked. Thank God for her as Dustin was further away and we didn't want to waste any time. I don't remember much of the drive. I cried off and on, battling the uneasy feelings in my heart.

We arrived at the hospital and there my OB located his heart rate and found nothing disturbing. There were normal strong heart tones, at 160 beats per minute. The OB decided to keep me a few hours in Labor and Delivery to monitor his heart rate and make sure everything was as it should be. In the meantime my mother in law had arrived, with a bite to eat and some encouraging words. Thank goodness for her because my parents were living in College Station at the time and had a long drive ahead of them. This is where we met Brooke, a sweet nurse who would see me thru the next few hours.

I was then taken to Dr. Reinhart's office upstairs for a sonogram with my perinatologist. Dr. Reinhart began the sonogram. He is usually a man of many words, always laughing and cutting up with me at my appointments, asking me if I'm sure I'm still having a boy. Today he said nothing. For what seemed like an enternity (20 minutes) he sat and stared at the screen. Terri held my hand as I silently sobbed. What was wrong? Why isn't he saying anything? I wanted to ask, but nothing would come out. Terri began crying as well. He tried numerous manuvers to get the baby to move, nothing. He finally spoke, "Well, he's breathing, but he's not putting as much effort into it as I would like." Mind you babies do not have to breathe on their own while in the womb, but an effort is normal and Cash wasn't making much of one, if any. He proceded to explain that Cash was very sluggish, that being the main concern. "I'm afraid I can't tell you what's wrong, because I don't know that part. I do know that I want to get steroids on board, in case we have to deliver." I got my first dose of steroids in that room. He proceeded to tell me that I would be admitted to the floor for observation at least over night and a repeat sonogram would be ordered for the morning.

Brooke took me to the floor and there again they placed a fetal heart rate monitor and started the paperwork. Within 5 minutes of being in the room the alarms started sounding. Dr. Reinhart and Dr. Knockleburg flew threw the door and flipped me on my side. The babies heart rate had just dropped into the 40's. Both doctors paced the floor. The room was dead silent. They had me lay on my back again. His heart rate dropped on cue. The Drs stepped in the hall to discuss their next move. I laid in silence on my side staring at the paper as it printed tiny rythms of Cash's heart. Nothing besides that rythm was on my mind. I was absolutely terrified and at the same time calm. My heart continued to pray. Please God, no. Don't let anything be wrong. Protect him, protect us. The Drs returned and decided I needed to be in Labor and Delivery. Brooke insisted to take me down and all the while calmed my nerves reassuring me it was going to be ok.

By this time Dustin had arrived and I was being taken to Labor and Delivery.The memories of Labor and Delivery will be pieced together. I'm sure Dustin and my family can remember intricate details, but this is where I began to lose track of the night. They continued to monitor Cash's heart rate and I continued to lay on my right side. This was the only way they could keep Cash from dropping his heart rate dangerously low. I had many, many visitors that night. Family, friends, and church members. Thank you to all of you for the love and support you showed us that night and through everything. It became more prevelant through the night the Dr's were preparing to deliver him. The 2nd doseage of steroids were administered. They hoped to get three total doses on board in case of delivery.

A neonatologist from the NICU was sent down to explain what may occur upon delivery. What the baby would look like at 26 weeks, what problems we might face and what to expect after delivery. He was very vauge and I don't think much of what he said stuck. It was almost as if we were blocking that option out, even though it was knocking on the door. Delivery? Now? It was hard to comprehend. We decided it was best  he took a tour of the NICU. With Mark Robbins at his side Dustin took a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. He came back with a very solemn look on his face and to this day he cannot talk about it. Now I know why. What he saw could not have prepared us for what we were about to go through as a couple and new parents.

We were prayed over by my Dad with our entire family present, some flowing into the hall. Then the nurses informed everyone of my 10:00 curfew induced by a sleeping pill. Dustin and our parents took turns coming in to sleep by my side. I vaguely remember that. I do remember waking up during the night listening to his heart beat. There was nothing more peaceful and reassuring than hearing that sweet thump-thump.

 The next day would hold more than we could have ever fathomed. ~